Want A New Marriage? Take The 30-Day Marriage Challenge

August 12, 1995

“Marriage isn’t lived out on a romantic balcony, it’s lived out on a spiritual battlefield.” I’ll never forget the moment I heard that for the first time. We were sitting at a marriage retreat as a newly engaged couple and when we heard that, we looked at each other and thought, really?

As we approach our 16th wedding anniversary, those words ring true. Even as I am more deeply in love with Kim than ever before, marriage takes hard work, intentionality and discipline, among many other things. That brings me to this blog post. This is something I have been thinking about for a long time, the 30-Day Marriage Challenge!

Life happens, we get busy and distracted by work, kids, household duties, Facebook, friends, etc….the list could go on and on. This can cause us to unintentionally neglect our spouse and our marriage, leaving us feeling empty and alone. This challenge is about taking back our marriages and showing our spouses how much we love and value them!

Here are the guidelines of the 30-Day Marriage Challenge:

  1. Surprise your spouse, in some way, every day for 30 days
  2. See guideline #1
  3. Again, see guideline #1 (getting the hint??)
  4. Give me feedback on how things are going – I want to hear from you. What are your surprises? How is your spouse responding?

That’s it! You see, when we surprise someone, it takes forethought. We have to think about that person. I am a firm believer that when we spend time thinking about our spouses and entering their world, it produces good things in our marriage. Every day, stop and think, how can I surprise my spouse today? And, more importantly, ask yourself, “What would a surprise look like to them?” You see, it’s easy to meet our own needs through how we reach out to someone else. But, during this challenge, don’t do that. Think about what your spouse likes, wants and needs. Think about what encouragement, love, support, affection looks like to them. That is a key part of this challenge!

This doesn’t have to take lots of money or even lots of time. Think creatively about the things that your spouse enjoys. What are ways that you can show them that you are still chasing them after all this time? Pursue them. Enter their world. Love them well! It can be something as simple as writing them a note or email or turning off the tv and talking. It can also be something big like flowers or a romantic dinner out. You set your own boundaries. Think outside the box about what would give your spouse goose bumps!

Mark it in your calendars. Set email reminders. Do whatever you have to do to get this healthy habit started.

There you have it. The 30-Day Marriage Challenge is on. Are you up to it? Do you want a new marriage? Try this. I challenge you. What do you have to lose? Nothing. What do you stand to gain? Everything.

I will be praying for you for the next 30 days. Let’s rock our spouses world!!

3 Responses to “Want A New Marriage? Take The 30-Day Marriage Challenge”
  1. Deno says:

    Who is that old guy with the hottie? Ha!
    16 YEARS? Who would of guessed that
    the years would go by so fast? 30 days,
    great idea even for us old guys. Thanks
    for loving eachother so well…it shows!

    Deno and Samme
    (40 year veteran with same woman)

  2. AWESOME idea!! We love to surprise each other still after 12 years! Will keep you posted!

  3. nicte says:

    Thanx for share this reflexion! I really need something like that before to take a wrong decision. I`ll take 30 days to challenge myself to re-build my relationship, my marriage. I want to surprise my husband and fall in love again!
    God bless u!

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